not that anyone reads this or that anyone really cares, but my life really is in the shitter. i have two best friends who came out to me and were very relieved that i was totally cool with it and am still their friend. well, duh. i've been their friend for 10 and 6 years, the fact that they are gay is not going to change anything. that is not why my life is in the shitter, but a lot of my other friends have now come out to me as well, so the fact that i have a lot of gay friends is kinda shitty seeming that i am straight. anywho that is beside the point, the point is they now both have significant others. so instead of even careing about their perpetually single friend, they decide to invite their other halfs along our outings so i am now dubbed the lovely 5th wheel. i mean i used to be part of the wheel group, i used to make other people feel like the 3rd or 5th wheel, but let me tell you i don't like being the odd man out, and on top of it, they don't even notice, it's like i'm trying to stop myself from just busting down and crying in front of them and their lovers, and all they do is get more lovey dovey and make me feel even more like shit. so almost every single week i come home and just cry on my mom or dads shoulder because they seem to be the only 2 people who want to hear what i'm saying. they tell me all this great advise and tell me that things will work out or to maybe find some more friends, or a nice guy to date, and i jsut sit there and cry until i can't anymore. and then tonight came. i had jsut got done crying on my moms shoulder, said good night, and got into my pjs, when my dad knocks on the door, he comes in and sits on the edge of my bed and says: "if you want, mom and i can help you financally, but we can help you move somewhere else, like near one of your sisters, maybe in califorina or arizona?" and i'm really thinking about taking them up on that offer, the more i think about it the more i want to do it, the more i want to get away from here. i might be away from here sooner than i would have thought.